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Home→Categories Main Page→Relationships - Page 10 << 1 2 … 8 9 10 11 12 … 15 16 >>

Category Archives: Relationships

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The Gentle Art of Pulling

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on November 22, 2005 by Al TurtleFebruary 24, 2020 2

"Pulling" is a critical component of making good communication work smoothly. It stops the habit of interruption. It promotes full sharing of points and it enables people getting to ?the bottom of things? ? quality understanding. It is the necessary fourth step of the Mirroring teaching tool, but it is a skill all its own. Here's my brief definition of a pull. A brief verbal or non-verbal invitation by receiver to the sender to keep talking on the subject at hand only. This gesture ends the ?insult of interruption.?

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Posted in Communication, Diversity, Reliable Membership | Tagged dialogue, feelings, make sense, mirroring, need for connection, pulling, safety, share, trust, validation | 2 Replies

Group Standards for Discussion

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on November 14, 2005 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012  

This is a letter I wrote to the Peace Project concerning my group's self-defined standards of Communologue.

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Posted in Diversity, Peace Building | Tagged codependency, codependent, dialogue, feelings, make sense, master-slave, mastertalk, mirroring, point of view, pulling, safety, share, trust, validation | Leave a reply

You Make Sense – Always!

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on November 11, 2005 by Al TurtleJune 16, 2019 4

Probably no question has been put to me so often these days as to what I mean by the phrase “Make Sense.” The Diversity Principle: “All people make sense all the time,” is for me one of the most useful tools I've come up with. It allows me to connect with people who are doing things that I don?t at first understand or like. It allows me to continue to more and more fully understand myself. It is a keystone tool in helping people build self-esteem. And it is a tool that stands up clearly, setting me against what I call “the pathology of our culture.”

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Posted in Diversity | Tagged boundary, dialogue, feelings, make sense, mirroring, narcisism, point of view, pulling, safety, share, trust, validation | 4 Replies

Some Days are Tough!

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on October 27, 2005 by Al TurtleJuly 19, 2013 1

I built this table several years ago as a handout to help couples determine which tools to use when things were going awry. Years ago when I was working as (pretending to be) a carpenter, an old guy said, "Al, first things first. Always use the right tool. Saves time and effort." Well, depending on what is happening in a relationship, there are different tools. Here's the range.

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Posted in Reliable Membership, Skills | Tagged dialogue, feelings, mirroring, pulling, safety, trust, validation | 1 Reply

Histories: She/He has left. Now what?

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on October 26, 2005 by Al TurtleSeptember 25, 2012 1

This is so common. Oh, I feel sorry for everyone involved. I think I have seen this situation 6 times this month. A person calls in, ?their whole life has changed?, ?their dreams are shattered?, and ?they don?t know what to do.? Their partner of 5 years, 14 years, 33 years, has announced they are leaving, or they have packed up and gone, or they have found someone new and now want to cut the ties with their ?older? partner. The person calling feels surprised, betrayed and hurt. What to do?

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Posted in Couple's Histories, Diversity, Reliable Membership | Tagged dialogue, make sense, mirroring, point of view, pulling, share, trust, validation | 1 Reply

Map of Relationship, Short Form

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on October 19, 2005 by Al TurtleJune 16, 2019  

When I don't have much time with an audience, I often share this brief version of a Map of Relationships. I can give this in about 10 minutes and still point people in the "right" direction.

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Posted in Map of Relationships | Tagged boundary, dialogue, master-slave, mastertalk, mirroring, peace, point of view, safety, share, trust | Leave a reply

Feelings and Emotions: The Essay, Part Three, Energetics, The Flow of Feelings & Depression

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on October 5, 2005 by Al TurtleApril 13, 2013 9

I am now going to shift directions. The following essay arises out of years of studying Wilhelm Reich,MD and his followers, the general field of body therapy and the specifics of what is often called Energetics. To me, this is the study of energy – human energy. As I refer to energy, I am talking about that which makes us go and that which we lose when we die. It is very much a body-thing.

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Posted in Feelings and Emotions | Tagged dialogue, essay, feelings, make sense, point of view, safety, share, validation | 9 Replies

To Imago Therapists

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on September 18, 2005 by Al TurtleFebruary 7, 2019 3

An open letter (probably with lots of typos) that I wrote to any and all Imago Therapists during my vacation in the mountains in early September 2005. In it I pose an important question. Is what I am doing "Imago?"

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Posted in Diversity, Personal, Reliable Membership | Tagged boundary, dialogue, feelings, Imago, master-slave, mastertalk, mirroring, narcisism, passivity, peace, point of view, pulling, safety, share, trust, validation | 3 Replies

Behavior Change Requests (BCRs)

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on August 17, 2005 by Al TurtleJuly 13, 2021  

I really like being efficient. Doing something over and over that doesn?t work seems an utter waste to me. Thus Behavior Change Requests (BCRs) are for me wonderful. How many times have I asked myself, ?Specifically, what can I do to make things better?? and gotten no answer. I used to think on my gravestone they would write, ?He tried.? Now, I think they might write, ?He did it.? I love finding out WHAT WORKS! (This article is part of the Healing Frustrations paper.)

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Posted in Healing the Past | Tagged dialogue, feelings, Imago, mirroring, passivity, pulling, safety, share, trust, validation | Leave a reply

Healing Frustrations: The Essay

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on August 16, 2005 by Al TurtleJune 3, 2017  

I believe that Frustrations are the critical element to making progress in a Relationship. Healing Frustrations is the key. I call it the ?ratchet? process because , like a ratchet wrench, it makes things move forward and you can?t back up. The following essay contains what I see as the background for dealing with frustrations. It clears up a lot of misunderstandings and can help you stop wasting time and energy in doing things that do not work.

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Posted in Healing the Past | Tagged dialogue, essay, fault, feelings, make sense, peace, point of view, pulling, safety, trust, validation | Leave a reply

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