Mine or Yours or ?
I have been asked recently by people who are reading my papers on boundaries how to decide if something is mine or my partner's or what?? I was writing a response, and decided I'd better post it for everyone.
Continue reading →I have been asked recently by people who are reading my papers on boundaries how to decide if something is mine or my partner's or what?? I was writing a response, and decided I'd better post it for everyone.
Continue reading →Recognizing MasterTalk, avoiding it, reframing it gets simpler.
Continue reading →This is the last part of my essay on Feelings and Emotions. I am going to be speaking about “expression.” Now, lack of emotional expression, I believe, causes huge confusion in relationships and and will shorten your life. But, incorrect expression causes lots and lots of trouble, too. My goal is to focus on what I call “Appropriate Expression.” Many groups and cultures have strong rules about the “correct” way to express or hold in emotions. What I am going to write may seem to go against many of those rules – may seem critical of them. I do not choose to set myself up in that judgmental position. I simply want to share what I have learned.
Continue reading →Been thinking of this for some time. I keep finding that sometimes being Rebellious is the way to go. Sometimes Stubbornness is wonderful. Even sometimes Passivity is a jewel. But when? I've never shared my enthusiasm about rebelling and being stubborn, and I fear I have given passivity a "bad rap." Enjoy!
Continue reading →A recent letter sparked me to thinking about how I handle this tough situation. I have been using this all purpose skill for a dozen years, recommending it to my clients. Some use it. Some don’t. Sometimes it makes things “better.” Sometimes it seems to make things “worse.” Life is like that. Take a-look.
Continue reading →This is part of the set of problems I’ve found in connecting reliably to another person. In it I am looking mostly at the situation from the point of view of the clinging or more needy partner. Heck, that was me. And it is a bit of history. I wrote this about 8 years ago as I was figuring out the problem of, and solution to, Reliable Membership.
Continue reading →This is my response to a great set of questions posted on my article on the Problem with Expectations. But it covers so much territory, I decided to repond with an article. My thanks to the Poster.
Continue reading →This is a continuation of a discussion begun based on my paper on Safety and the Lizard Brain. An exercise in seeing the partnership of the reptilian brain, how it works, what it is trying to do. Click here for the original article on Safety.
Continue reading →My gosh, people get this simple issue so confused. It isn’t all that difficult. Here’s my poster on it.
In …
Continue reading →Notes on my seminar about Validation. I share what I have learned, how, and what I have come to believe validation is.
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