Until I write my thoughts on this, here are some references. One of the clearest sources for this material is the writings and speeches of Malidoma Patrice Somé. By being raised in an indigenous culture and by being educated in … Continue reading →
I was asked recently what are the steps to follow, practically, when you see your partner backing away from you even in everyday situations. I think the person was simultaneously looking for specific things to do and trying to head off trouble.
Continue reading →I am currently leading a group based on Communologue principles. These are the core of dialogical skills originally formulated in Imago Relationship, but recently expanded by the Imago Peace Project to include critical factors missing in Imago. Members of the Imago Peace Project (http://imagopeaceproject.org) can teach you these Communologue skills.
Continue reading →Podcast of an Introduction to Dialogical One Liners.
Continue reading →Probably about 70% of couples I see have a significant problem with controlling. What is this? How does it work? What can you do about it? In this article I will try to answer those questions and share solutions with you.
Continue reading →Stop the Divorce: Now I am not saying that you are thinking the wrong thing. In fact, I am glad you are considering divorce. I don't think you would be thinking of this, if things were going well. I tend to believe you are thinking divorce as a last and worst choice.
Continue reading →I am presenting this paper as a discussion of dialogue norms to use in Power Differential Relationships. My goal is to re-approach One-up/One-down situations from the relational model, the dialogical model that is central to Imago Relationship theory and practice.
The paper is divided into three sections:
1. Types of Power Differential Situations
2. Decision Making as the legitimate reason for Power Differential Situations
3. The Four Challenges facing groups trying to make decisions.
Look, domestic violence is nothing more that the behavior of a bully or bullies who grew up learning that tantrums get you what you want. It is nothing more than the action of a person who is “in control,” doing what they were taught, over and over as they grew up. And it is a hard habit or learning to stop – just like any other habit that works sometimes. It will taper off or stop when that behavior clearly no longer works.
Continue reading →Relationship Help!: I've never met anyone whose intimate relationship couldn't use some help. We don't know how to solve everything. If our parents had trouble, they didn't know how to solve everything and thus they couldn't teach us.
At some point, each of us run up against problems that we don't have the tools to solve.
Marriage Help!: I've never met anyone whose marriage couldn't use some help. We don't know how to solve everything. If our parents had trouble, they didn't know how to solve everything and thus they couldn't teach us. As some point each of us run up against problems that we don't have the tools to solve. The wise thing to do at that point is to learn. Start to study. Look for people who have solved that trouble. Try new things. Read books. Get help. And don't wait. Most couples that come to me seem to wait until the very last moment.
Continue reading →