How much should you tell?
This discusses a great and eroding problem within a relationship: keeping silent, keeping secrets.
Continue reading →Tag Archives: dialogue
PreValidation: More Thoughts
Here are some more thoughts about PreValidation and Validation.
Continue reading →Resentments: Getting Rid of Them
This paper discusses the issue of Resentment that from time to time becomes an important issue in couples or between groups of people. It includes suggestions on how to remove the resentment. I believe this cannot be done, passively, by waiting. Resentment does not seem to go away by letting time pass. I believe resentment only goes away via the use of validation, and dialogue.
Mirroring: The Skill
This is the training tool for communication. It's purpose is to train people in the 52 distinct skills necessary for making speakers feel heard and making listeners relaxed while listening to anything.
Continue reading →Mirroring as a Training Tool
This is a true story I sometimes tell people who are first learning to use Mirroring and who are resisting practicing.
Continue reading →MasterTalk: Samples of Dealing with it.
I use these three terms (Master, Slave, Friend) to refer to the three positions from which and to which communication can be addressed. These are similar to the positions in Transactional Analysis of Parent, Child, and Adult. No one is a Master. They just speak, and perhaps think, from the Master position. No one is a Slave. They just speak from the Slave position.
MasterTalk seems extremely easy to identify in conversation and writing.
MasterTalk: The Language
Handling the language of Master/Slave Relationships
Continue reading →Map of Relationships: 2003 Version
This is the whole story of intimate relationships. I wrote this early version in the September of 2003, after all the pieces had fallen into place in my head.
Continue reading →Reliable Membership: A Chart
This is the chart I share with couples who are experiencing this trouble.
Continue reading →Reliable Membership: The Essay
I believe all humans require reliable connection with other humans. I see this as the principle drive that moves us, and holds us, together in partnership. At any given time one partner will probably need more and one will probably need less connection. Managing this becomes a challenge and sometimes an enormous stumbling block. Here are the principles and the solutions.