All issues and problems that couples bring to my office are fair. Each person can lead the way out of the trouble. All problems EXCEPT ONE, that is. For one problem, there is only one person who can lead in the solution. This is the “Unfair Problem.”
Working for the long haul. Let's say you two make it through learning the skills critical to "getting along." Now what? Here's the view after you get over that first hump.
Continue reading →Use this process when you want to apologize for something you have done. Its a way to say "I'm sorry" that works.
Continue reading →A list of interventions that can be used to create and maintain a dialogical group atmosphere. A new guideline added on Nov 27, '07.
Continue reading →
This is an often requested list of brief definitions of my words. From time to time I will add to this list. Insert these words in the Search function on the front page of my website to see the articles where I use these terms.
Continue reading →This is the script of a DVD of the full form of the Map of Relationships. Part III of the Map of Relationships. Compares Romantic Love and Vintage Love. Romantic Love always, always always ends. It has to. Anyone who says it doesn't might be selling snake oil.
Continue reading →This is the script of a DVD of the full form of the Map of Relationships. Part II, Blind Alleys.
Continue reading →This article is the result of 10 years of practice by my wife and I. It is a step by step structured process that will eventually both remove all critical frustrations from a relationship but will also build confidence and skills in dealing with new frustrations when they arise.
Continue reading →I believe that Frustrations are the critical element to making progress in a Relationship. Healing Frustrations is the key. I call it the ?ratchet? process because , like a ratchet wrench, it makes things move forward and you can?t back up. The following essay contains what I see as the background for dealing with frustrations. It clears up a lot of misunderstandings and can help you stop wasting time and energy in doing things that do not work.
Probably about 70% of couples I see have a significant problem with controlling. What is this? How does it work? What can you do about it? In this article I will try to answer those questions and share solutions with you.
Continue reading →