Map of Relationship, Short Form
When I don't have much time with an audience, I often share this brief version of a Map of Relationships. I can give this in about 10 minutes and still point people in the "right" direction.
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To Imago Therapists
An open letter (probably with lots of typos) that I wrote to any and all Imago Therapists during my vacation in the mountains in early September 2005. In it I pose an important question. Is what I am doing "Imago?"
Continue reading →Healing Frustrations: The Essay
I believe that Frustrations are the critical element to making progress in a Relationship. Healing Frustrations is the key. I call it the ?ratchet? process because , like a ratchet wrench, it makes things move forward and you can?t back up. The following essay contains what I see as the background for dealing with frustrations. It clears up a lot of misunderstandings and can help you stop wasting time and energy in doing things that do not work.
Thank Heavens for Bullies. We need them.
Sometimes people get the impression that I want all bullies to go away. But I really think they are valuable. Where would we all be without them? Now, what am I talking about!?
Continue reading →Story: Stripey, Helping other people relax.
A particular puzzle is how to relax other people when they get tense. This true story of an old cat may help – in a kind of backwards way.
Continue reading →Dialogical Groups: Communologue
I am currently leading a group based on Communologue principles. These are the core of dialogical skills originally formulated in Imago Relationship, but recently expanded by the Imago Peace Project to include critical factors missing in Imago. Members of the Imago Peace Project (http://imagopeaceproject.org) can teach you these Communologue skills.
Continue reading →Are You a Controller? Sure you are.
Probably about 70% of couples I see have a significant problem with controlling. What is this? How does it work? What can you do about it? In this article I will try to answer those questions and share solutions with you.
Continue reading →Peace Decays into War in Discrete Steps
A chart of how normal discourse collapses thru arguing, thru violence, into the form of communication we call WARFARE.
Continue reading →The Logic of Power Differentials: Heirarchy and Dialogue
I am presenting this paper as a discussion of dialogue norms to use in Power Differential Relationships. My goal is to re-approach One-up/One-down situations from the relational model, the dialogical model that is central to Imago Relationship theory and practice.
The paper is divided into three sections:
1. Types of Power Differential Situations
2. Decision Making as the legitimate reason for Power Differential Situations
3. The Four Challenges facing groups trying to make decisions.
Dear Turtle, (May 8th, 2005)
"Dear Turtle, My question is – how possible is it to change one's response to fear – say from FIGHT to FLEE?"
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