Notes: Starting a New Couple (First Session)
Notes for a telephone class on my way of doing a first Couple's Session.
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Decision Making in a Heirarchy
This is an excerpt from my paper on Dialogue in a Hierarchy. It focuses on decision making. It now includes a chart.
Continue reading →Blessing or Cursing
“My assignment, years ago as I got older, was to find a younger person and bless them, once every day.” I can share this secret with you. Now, take your time reading this. It is a gift that I can pass on.
Continue reading →Being Dialogical & Avoiding MasterTalk
I think that “Being Dialogical” is the inverse of being Emotionally Symbiotic. If we keep an ear out for MasterTalk, and remove it, we can easily and durably stay in a Dialogical space.
Continue reading →The Power of Passivity: The Essay
This is a paper about the problem of "victimicity." It is Part 2 of my work on Master/Slave and Autonomy. You may want to read it with some caution, particularly because, based on feedback, this seems to be almost "graduate level" relationship material. It seems you really must be prepared to read it. Please be patient with me, and with yourselves. More material was added 7/5/07. I am sure there will still be minor changes and additions – and one last bit.
Facilitating Dialogue: A Strong Technique
This is a technique I use in the office when people are very reactive about an incident. I use it often. I have noticed that I refer to it in one of my most popular articles – on Resentments. Yet, nowhere have I written up how to do it. So, here goes.
Continue reading →What's in a Word: “Master” and “Slave”
I have been using the terms “Master” and “Slave” for quite some time and have not ever found any terms that are more useful in dealing with the problems of Autonomy. However, over the years my usage has stirred up some controversy and even distress in people. At this point I have no plans to change my terms. At the same time I thought I would share a bit about the wonderful controversies.
Continue reading →Do you talk too much or too fast?
Do you talk too much or two fast? Hey, I do! On the one hand it is a wonderful advantage. It has also caused a lot of trouble for me – because it drives people crazy.
Continue reading →Making Amends
Use this process when you want to apologize for something you have done. Its a way to say "I'm sorry" that works.
Continue reading →Gullible or Skeptical: Trust
Being gullible or being skeptical. How much? I was talking to another old guy last evening and we both shared …
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