Summer Mountain Field, North Idaho
I think we'd better look into the factories.
I think the continuing great need in our culture and in our families is to become more aware of what is going on so that we can make better and better choices. As a person who has worked with thousands of couples, I have heard a lot. I have become familiar with lots of patterns. I have become aware of things that most people don�t seem to want to look at.
Continue reading →Thank Heavens for Bullies. We need them.
Sometimes people get the impression that I want all bullies to go away. But I really think they are valuable. Where would we all be without them? Now, what am I talking about!?
Continue reading →Motu Tapu and entrance to bay, from above Otu Mane, Bora Bora
This picture is from a 1990 visit to Bora Bora. For other pictures of the island click here.
“My purpose with this website is to help people get along. I have put and will continue to put the wisdom, the tricks, the cool ideas, and the theory about great relationships between intimate partners. However, I am fully aware that all these thoughts are just as important in the many other relationship: parent/child, brother/sister, friend/friend, boss/employee, nation/nation, politician/citizen, etc. Read, learn, practice, enjoy and make yourself into a person who is more fun to be around.” Al Turtle 2005
Story: Stripey, Helping other people relax.
A particular puzzle is how to relax other people when they get tense. This true story of an old cat may help – in a kind of backwards way.
Continue reading →Validation: The Skill and the Art
When we listen, do we understand? When we speak, do we get to feel understood? The skills of understanding, making a person feel understood, and speaking so that someone can understand you, are very important. In this article I hope to be able to explain about this and start you on your way. Seek to become an expert. I think this is really worth the investment.
Continue reading →Purpose, Meaning. Why we are alive.
Until I write my thoughts on this, here are some references. One of the clearest sources for this material is the writings and speeches of Malidoma Patrice Somé. By being raised in an indigenous culture and by being educated in … Continue reading →
Becoming a Source of Safety: Practical Steps
I was asked recently what are the steps to follow, practically, when you see your partner backing away from you even in everyday situations. I think the person was simultaneously looking for specific things to do and trying to head off trouble.
Continue reading →Dialogical Groups: Communologue
I am currently leading a group based on Communologue principles. These are the core of dialogical skills originally formulated in Imago Relationship, but recently expanded by the Imago Peace Project to include critical factors missing in Imago. Members of the Imago Peace Project (http://imagopeaceproject.org) can teach you these Communologue skills.
Continue reading →(audio) Are you a Controller?
This podcast, audio recording, is a reading of my paper on Controlling and includes additional material.
Continue reading →