This paper discusses the issue of Resentment that from time to time becomes an important issue in couples or between groups of people. It includes suggestions on how to remove the resentment. I believe this cannot be done, passively, by waiting. Resentment does not seem to go away by letting time pass. I believe resentment only goes away via the use of validation, and dialogue.
To really grasp Diversity, I think people need to have an image, a model, that makes sense of Understanding and Validation. I have used this model for three years and it works. It defines “making sense”, “understanding”, “validation” and that most valuable of skills, “PreValidation”.
Continue reading →The choices that two or more people have when they come together. Based on the experience of lots and lots of couples who have learned, what the average citizen hasn't, that arguing doesn't work.
Continue reading →This story is about hopeless habit of pointing fingers at the action or the one who “angers you.” I call it “Where to focus when you are upset.”
Continue reading →This is a story about the lessons of speaking up too fast. I call it “What to do if you interrupt someone?”
Continue reading →I tell this story , as a gift from my friend Jack, to anyone I meet who has a short temper or who is around someone with a short temper.
Continue reading →Persuading someone is quite a skill. I am not talking about manipulation. Here I am speaking of how to get someone to do what you want – openly and honestly.
Continue reading →This seems to me the story of just about every addictive behavior I can think of. The person complaining is the one who's got to do something. Responsibility rests in the complainer.
Continue reading →In Taoist perspective even good and evil lose their absolute character. I share this with people who firmly believe their point of view is the right one.
Continue reading →This is the training tool for communication. It's purpose is to train people in the 52 distinct skills necessary for making speakers feel heard and making listeners relaxed while listening to anything.
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